So, over the weekend, my husband and I had another intense relationship talk.
I don't want to go into details. Yes, I'm holding something back. Sorry folks.
But the bottom line is that there's one thing that he absolutely still feels guilty about.
And one thing that I absolutely still feel guilty about.
It seems to me that while we want to learn the lesson and not ever do the things we did, again...can't we forgive and forget?
I think for both of us, we are afraid that if we forget the horrible thing we each did, then we'll do it again.
And neither of us wants to hurt the other again.
I mean, it's one thing for me to forgive my husband...but forgiving myself is something much harder.
Perhaps, I'm just whining. Maybe all I need to do is look myself in the mirror and say, "I won't forget all the hurt and damage I caused, I learned my lesson and won't do it again...but I forgive myself."
Agghhhh.
I guess the problem is I feel the need to keep punishing myself in an attempt to make sure it never happens again.
And if someone else I knew and loved were doing that, I'd tell them, you've obviously learned the lesson, forgive yourself and move on...you are only hurting yourself by hanging onto this.
