HELP - need your opinion: problem or not?

[Redo]

As a young boy I was small and sensitive, and I sought to please people. Perhaps it was a personality, maybe something more. But I was bullied constantly - virtually every single day from about the age of 7 to, I don't know, maybe 14. I was taught that I wasn't good enough and that other people could take what they wanted from me. My first serious girlfriend told me on our prom night that she was sleeping with my best friend. I married my next serious GF (that'd be my W). Not much experience with relationships in between. Now don't get me wrong - and forgive me if this sounds like I'm bragging but I need to prove I'm not a total loss here - I was pretty popular when my day came and I'm actually very successful at my job, and a good dad. But my W grew up in a highly chaotic home and is much more used to conflict than I. Although I learned to handle myself and am not afraid of anyone physcially and my job can be dangerous (which I like) I literally shut down when confronted by W. I always give in. Often I even end up apologizing, for what? I don't know - breathing maybe. So, look I'm being honest here. I have struggled my whole life to overcome the feelings of low self worth brough on by years of bullying. God, I wish someone would have been there to help me, as a little kid trying to stand up to groups of much older kids.

Wow, apart from some differences, my behavior seems similar. My childhood was lil screwed up because my parents fought constantly. Had no skills in resolving conflicts. So i used to shut down when i had arguments with my wife. My coping mechanism was to simply agree with her. I also had this constant need to be re-assured and my whole world revolved around her and i always felt necessary to be nice to her and keep her happy. All very bad things for my own self esteem. I recently came across this book called "anxious to please" that helped me in understand my behavior a lot. Dunno if it applies to you. As TrueGritter says, its in YOU to help YOU.