Keep... Moving ... Forward...

[Denver_2010]

Sorry Country! Yes, it did get lost. I meant to go back and answer that, but forgot. My bad.

Bottom line answer? Gut instinct.

But there were a few significant things that led me there.

1) On January 11th, FIL told me that he had heard from my W's mom that W didn't think that I cared about M and didn't think that I loved her... bc I was not pursuing or trying to get her back (her perception of course).

2) From January 14 through January 25th - I began to notice that my W was initiating more contact with me. Up to the 14th, there had been very, very little contact at all... and when there was, it was usually pretty emotionless and about SS only. But bw these dates, she began to contact me about stuff that she didn't really need to talk to me about. An app on our cell phones for example.

Significant conversations (non R talk) on January 19th and January 25th. Both initiated by W.

Also, the conversations started to become more friendly and W would say "talk to you later".

Right around January 20-22, I really got this sense that things bw she and OM were lightening up or dissolving. This one I can't explain. It was just a feeling. To this day, I still think that I am right about this time frame... and it goes along with how answered my question to her at dinner on February 10th "when did you start to realize that you still loved me?" Her answer, "A few weeks ago." Well, it was actually 19 days, give or take, before I asked. That's what I believe.

3) January 25th - FIL tells me again that he has heard that W doesn't think that I love her or that I care about the M bc I wasn't doing anything proactive. He says that he heard this from MIL and also, this time, SIL. He told me MIL said to him, "if Denver plays his cards right, he may be able to get W back"

4) January 26th - I was at my favorite coffee shop posting here at around 8 p.m. W and SS come in unexpectedly. W told me that SS saw me there as they were driving by and asked if they could stop. W and I had a very friendly conversation and I went out to her car to look at a couple of issues that she was having.

5) January 27 and 28 - Very friendly conversations with W.

6) January 29th - I took my first risk and asked W if she wanted to go with me to take SS to a movie and she accepted.

7) January 30th - Went to dinner and movie with SS and W. It was very friendly.

8) February 3rd - When dropping SS off to W I took another risk and asked her if she wanted to bring SS over and watch SB. W did not agree, but said she'd think about it.

9) February 5th - W told me in a text that she wasn't sure about watching the game with me bc we hadn't talked about "our situation". She asked me "I don't understand why you haven't initiated a talk or tried to fix things."

I think that it was at this point that I began to feel some confidence that things were turning in my favor.

10) February 6th - Despite telling me that she didn't feel comfortable coming to our house to watch the SB the night before, W texts me and invites me to her sister's to watch the game. We agreed to go to dinner on Thursday, Feb 10th.

And you are probably caught up with the rest.

As you can see, I have journaled my situation in pretty detailed fashion. LOL...

As I looked back in answering your question, it is really interesting to see how things have evolved. And it was much, much worse in November and December (which wasn't really relevant to your question).

I'd suggest that you journal like I did. It really helped me notice the small victories as they were happening.

Bottom line, is that it was a series of little things, like W's tone of voice, the frequency of her calls/texts to me, the reasons for those calls or texts... much more so that what my FIL told me on those two occasions. I was really reluctant to put too much stock in what he was saying bc it was 3rd person hearsay basically and I didn't know the context in which my W was saying it.

I also began to transition into more pursuing bc of what I know about my W. That she was insecure with how I felt about her. That she never really believed that I loved her. I knew that, at some point, I was going to have to pursue. Waiting for the right time was the most difficult thing.

Anyway, I hope that this answers your question.

BITS
Denver