today and why do i even want him?

[Denver_2010]

haha indeed!

lis, thank you for asking
a hard 2 days
just got to the west coast last night
h was already here (at our 2nd home)
before i left yesterday, we got some very bad news about my dad
he is already infirm, mostly paralyzed from a massive stroke some 10 years ago
now he has something else to deal with, that i don't want to write (don't wanna say the word)
but it is not good
h was great on the phone, but when i got here he
did not ask about dad or how i was doing
proceeded to tell me that he was going to take s up north for a few days to see his dad
really?? i thought
if i were just your friend, would you not even think that i might not like to be alone at a time like this
but i kept my cool and said yes, that's fine
this is just how he is
maybe it seems needy, i don't know, but i'm a bit of a mess right now and rambling around this big house on my own will even be more depressing
i just feel like he could be a bit more sensitive at this time
even just saying..."do you want to come with us" or do you want to keep s with you
i dont know
maybe he is doing what he thinks is best for our sitch
or maybe, like usual, he is just not thinking
anyway, don't want to be in this funk
tonight will be sleepless again and i'm sure i will see you all on the board in the wee hours
hope everyone is ok today
i really do

I'm sorry to hear that you are sad grr. And I really hate to hear about your dad.

Try to hang in there. I know that it is hard. You will get through this.... all of it.

My thoughts are with you today.

BITS
Denver