Part of me is disgusted that I let him talk to me like that. I am starting to feel picked on. This is how I grew up. I escaped that many, many years ago. To be re-living it, is really not cool.
You escaped it, but did you heal it?
I am gonna guess not as much as you might think if you feel that way again.
We teach people how to treat us Rae, but we also accept some treatment that we shouldn't. A ton of it really is in our perception of the treatment...
Words, are words...
Until YOU attatch meaning to them...
My H would say, "The roast was undercooked..."
and I took it as a criticism of me, beat myself up for undercooking the roast and made a mental note that I better not screw it up again...
My BF says, "the roast is undercooked..."
and I take it as a comment on the food, and either cook it longer, or apologize and make a mental note that he likes it more cooked.
Originally Posted By: MsRae
I worry about the example I am setting for my children.
Then how do you change it?
What do you think you should be showing them?
Why can't you be a good example AND have a good marriage?
Boundaries, may not be the way to go right now...
Think smaller...
Make small changes...
Be less available to they HAVE to do things for themselves.
This didn't happen over night and you won't fix it overnight.
Baby steps are very important with all of this.
As is consistency. To make sure your changes stick.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
