I do the same thing next and you can't beat yourself up for doing it. I have been harped on by several BITS about making a positive goals list. Perhaps tonight you should sit down and think about what it is you would like to accomplish in say the next 3 weeks. What would you like to see happen. Sounds simple right? It's not. I've been trying to do it for 3 days.
well my question is... what should my goals be? I am having a real hard time deciding what is good and what isn't. I mean... it's good that she contacted me but is it good when all she talks about is process? I keep reading all these threads where they say you have to let them feel free before they will come back. I'm definitely setting her free... and now I'm just terrified that she won't come back lol.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
No contact for a few days... she asked me to find her degrees that were mixed in with mine so I'm going to take her thosebthis weekend. Any ideas on how I could engauge her while I'm there?
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I just feel like I need to start communicating with her more. Iwould love to be able to have light hearted conversations or even get her comfortable venting to me. Just feels like I'm farther from my goals everyday... but maybe that's just the time we have to invest.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Gal'ing is going well... the only bummer is that playing poker only takes up a few hours and there is just too much time to fill. Its easy to get depressed when I don't have anything going on.
The 180s have been tough because we have really limited contact. My biggest 180 has been to be able to talk to her about the divorce proceedings without losing it emotionally. Not having kids means that I don't have that built in contact. 2step is doing way better from across the country than I am from down the street lol. But my biggest problem is that she doesn't realty contact me. I think might need to initiate more as another 180.. thoughts?
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Why do you have to drop the items off to her each time? Have her get them from you at your place or maybe meet her someplace for coffee to give to her.
First thing you need to do is to stop jumping when she tells you to.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Ehhh... maybe you need to find some other activities besides playing poker for GAL. Didn't you play poker all of the time when you were M'd? What is different now?
Your 180's are for you Next. Stop focusing on whether or not your W will or won't see them. What things in your life, other than the sitch with your M, would you change? Start changing them.
Both of these things, a real GAL and some real 180s, will help you get out of the depressed funk.
I think that you are too focused on your W right now and not enough on yourself. JMO.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Poker isn't for fun... it's my job. I'm just saying that it doesn't take 8 hours / day, I usually play for 2-3 hours / day. The biggest thing that I could do to GAL would be get a job and I'm working hard at that too.
I haven't really been jumping for her she hasn't asked for hardly anything. That's why I think I have to initiate more. She just isn't.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
