A walk down memory lane

[angel61]

Those word are are precious.

We both agreed to the two years as we are both afraid, we both have been through the turmoil of dealing with our D's anxiety disorder sometime ago, and have no desire to go through it again, and we think our D still is in a vulnerable age. We also are not financially in a good position - too much debt. I actually told my H that I am willing to go for broke, sell our houses, but he is too much of a practical person to do it. Even now that we have a two year plan, when I mentioned to him about timelines for when we could put the house on the market, etc. he said that we should just decide when the time comes close.

For my H, however, I see now that the knowledge that I have accepted the sitch, the fact that I am planning my life beyond him is enough, and makes him realize that I am moving forward. I am planning to make a big step, follow my dream, be my own person again, and I think his admiration for me is coming back.


Some observations I made:

1. He started using "we" when planning for when I stop work and do my review. "We" will move to a smaller house, "we" will become a single income family - I thought we were separating!?! I smiled inside me.
2. He said he was not really interested in remarrying, just wanted to feel "free".

He's with his family now, visiting. His SIL (she knows) and I talked over the phone, and she told me that he was sharing travel plans with her, telling her about our plans for vacations in the future, telling her that I have slimmed down, seemed to be happy.

I, on the other hand, am savoring being by myself, and am getting excited with the prospect of going back to practice the profession I love. I am actually already allowing myself to dream a little. I have not cried in the past few days.