Pyysical touch without any expectations is hard for a guy. But you better not going with any... In fact Bolt, I'd plan on being a monk, even if she starts playing a vixen. Games remember?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
What kind of stuff do you write Bolt? I wish that the BITS could find ya on FB so we could read it!!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
JTB- When you say monk-like - do you mean I have to shave a doughnut into my head and wear a half beard? At least they make great beer!
I was even thinking of going in that EVEN if she rolled over and "returned the favor" I would cut it off.
Well, not IT it but the progression and say, "I said no strings attached."
That would leave her wanting more.
I doubt that would happen so I have to go in with nothing. Like I said, my only expectation is that I get to touch my W. It's not exactly monk-like but it is low expectations for sure.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
Bolt, so happy for you. Your W is the luckiest woman!!!
Your observation about sleeping.... that is so true. I have noticed that when my H is distant, he does not relax even in his sleep, but when our sitch is doing well he snuggles! It is actually my temperature check on how we are doing.
That is true, touch and love are so intertwined in a womans heart. Its huge that she has said yes. When you say no strings attached though, please make sure you suppress your ulterior motives!!!!
No drooling.... that might scare her!
Take it slow....
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
But again if she rolls over and grabs you.... I say go for it, man! Us women don't want to be rejected, you know, and honestly, I think we are more hurt than a man in this regard. That is why women rarely initiate....men by nature initiate and thus are wired to acept rejection, I think women are not!
What do you say, Lis? Maybe I'm just an oversexed alpha female here....
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Also, I want to take this slow. I've noticed in the past that once we do ML after a fight, my connection although fulfilled, is a little TOO fulfilled. Meaning I can feel myself not giving the 100% again. Almost like a conquest.
Man...that's it. I was a bit of a "player" before I met my wife and I did (sorry) think of those as conquests. I don't want that anymore. (actually haven't for some time) but I don't want to FEEL like that in this R.
SO, although it will be hard (pun intended) I'll have to say no.
BUT angel, If you can send some of that sexual energy my W's way, I'd appreciate it
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
I'd like to know more about the nature of the flirting before I would agree.
The LAST thing you want to do is make her feel rejected. She's scared about coming back to you, don't make that more difficult. Follow your gut on this. If you think she's going to feel rejected, do NOT turn away from her. I doubt at this point, it is going to get to that, but I'm throwing the warning out there.
