Quote: Ain't this a great letter?! Don't you wish that this is something that your partner could do, and write about?!
Yeah JJ, we all wish, but as Cemar said, it is very rare indeed. The HD spouse is usually in denial, refuses to acknowledge there is a problem/discrepancy in desires and refuses to talk or do anything about it.
How are you approaching your partner that might make them automatically be defensive? What could you do and say different that might help the two of you talk about this better? What ways have worked in the past?
So what happens if nothing has worked in the past, we have tried different approaches, all unsuccessful, what could we do or say thats different if the spouse refuses to even talk about it?
Is this a problem in your relationship? Who usually gets things going, or are you both waiting for the other to start?
Its usually the HD who gets things going of course, until they reach a point when they are too tired of being rejected all the time.
Are you missing out on any ways to please your partner, so that they might want to please you in return? Even in a "non-sexual" way, that might lead to other things?
We try all ways to please our partners in non-sexual ways of course, the partner gets so "pleased" they think that no sex is no longer a problem with the HD.
What other comments or thoughts do you have about this? Especially if you are a HD, and have learned something about a LD point of view?
Sorry to sound so negative, but thats just the way it is for many of us and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.
