Well, I was VERY into sex before my security was threatened. My H brought a lot of healing to me as far as my past was concerned. It was like I discovered a whole new world!!! But like I said, my security with him was threatened and that went away. Then, I guess I preferred take care of it myself. I never stopped being sexual, I just didn't want him involved. That was conscious.
When he upped the ante and stopped the kisses goodbye, the lunches, the smoke breaks and everything else, I went into hyper detach mode. Then I didn't want him near me. That was unconscious. I didn't even realize what I was doing.
So, my point? She's likely making both conscious and unconscious choices right now. Keep that in perspective because she is struggling a lot too. She likely doesn't understand everything that she is feeling. She may feel an awful like I do. I want to so bad, but I'm scared to death. It's your job to make it ok for her. You are building up the emotional bank, that's awesome. Now you need to get her used to the touches.
