We all know what you're looking forward to with the massage, Bolt Seriously, though, I understand what you are saying. It is important she get used to your touches again. It's a funny thing with some women (me being one of them). Once I lose that trust, it's hard for me to want to be touched. When my H tried to hug me when my dad got sick, I literally jumped back out of his way. And boy, did he notice! I had gotten used to no touches and it's a bit of a road back. Be patient with her on this. I know that you are trying so hard to be. She needs to feel safe again, that's all.
LIS
I love this discussion because this is something I need to understand on my terms - meaning, I'm not going to pressure her into telling me why - so I'll pressure the WAS women here
LIS, why don't you like being touched? Why did you jump back? Did you not feel love for him? or did you lose trust in him?
If it IS trust, how can that be won back?
See, here's my dilemma.
I want this process to be slow definitely. I also want to see progress on both ends. Right now we most definitely are. The way she cuddled with me 2 nights ago - I was in heaven short of the angels strumming harps. I know I won't get that every night and I'm realizing that there are a myriad of reasons: she's actually tired, she's just not feeling touchy, she feels gross/ugly/smelly/whatever (I got that excuse once a while back).
My mind, I guess, just needs a better feminine perspective.
Grr kinda hit on this when she said that all guys can be touched at just about any time. I heard a joke that someone said that he hasn't been with a woman in so long that when the wind blows, he gets an er@#* - you can fill in the blank.
But what is needed for a woman to feel touched?
I could rail off a bunch of words but I would rather hear the women speak here. A man wants to know what you gals want
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
Seriously, though, I understand what you are saying. It is important she get used to your touches again. It's a funny thing with some women (me being one of them). Once I lose that trust, it's hard for me to want to be touched. When my H tried to hug me when my dad got sick, I literally jumped back out of his way. And boy, did he notice! I had gotten used to no touches and it's a bit of a road back. Be patient with her on this. I know that you are trying so hard to be. She needs to feel safe again, that's all.
