Last night was fine. This morning, W in a total FUNK. Sometimes I really don't understand her mood swings (and they are SWINGS, let me tell you). My reaction was perfect. I was nice, cool, helpful but not overdoing at all. No pressure, no space. She was in the bathroom when it was time for me to leave, I just said "kids are up and eating breakfast. I have a few minutes, anything else I can do for you before I go? She grunted no. I said, "ok, have a great day, I love you" and left.
I'm in a good place right now. I'm back to detached. I can only do what I can do. She has to decide the rest and although I hope it goes one way, I know that it will all be ok regardless. I'm doing good.
M: 39 W: 37 Married: 9 D5; S3 "It's Over" 09/26/10 11 Day Sep 10/10 Piecing Starts 11/4/10 Piecing Fails 4/11 I move out 5/11 Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11 Piecing #2 - 6/22/11 Home 10/11
DUDE! I have to say that those types of moods are NORMAL. I had almost the exact same thing this morning.
DO NOT let it get you down. Who knows what was bugging her.
Here's what I did when that happened. I remembered a time when I thought the marriage was going great and when I woke up in the morning. I didn't want to talk; I just wanted to get ready and get out of there. I was barely awake and didn't want to hear anything. It wasn't that I didn't love my W or love talking to her. I was just in that mode.
That is probably what it was. I'm glad you're not beating yourself up, Dude!
your shadow in the piecing, bolt!
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
Playing hard to get has it's place, but only if you weren't guilty of neglect, or anything that smacked of it, apathy which lead to you being here.
Does that make sense?
If you never had or made time for her in the past, now might not be the best time to try something that might remind her of it.
X,
Your wife is she a morning person? Mine isn't, never was, never will be. However, part of her change, was to be pleasant in the morning when I left for work. Instead of bithcing when I kiss her goodbye, she smiles and wishes me a good day and to be careful.
It was something she realized on her own, I mean we talked about it, but it was never a boundary.
I occasionally still thank her for it and appreciate it.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
No my W if definitely NOT a morning person either, but today was worse than usual. She told me later that she didn't sleep and had nightmares all night.
M: 39 W: 37 Married: 9 D5; S3 "It's Over" 09/26/10 11 Day Sep 10/10 Piecing Starts 11/4/10 Piecing Fails 4/11 I move out 5/11 Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11 Piecing #2 - 6/22/11 Home 10/11
Do you ever feel like you are over analyzing everything to death? I know we get into that mode early on in the process because we are looking for bits of information. It almost seems that continues unabated. Man it is exhausting.
Honestly, I hope to get to point where things just are because they are. Your W is grumpy in the morning...it just means that she was grumpy that morning. I'm trying to get myself in that frame of mind and it is a challenge for sure.
But I do have a few truths I can rely on.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.