......are these itty bitty baby steps?

[MHL]

I stood facing the parking lot and slowly pulled off the long-sleeved fleece pullover I was wearing over my head.

So this is how you guys keep warm in the Great White North....

nice...

GAG,

It all sounds good, I love the interactions you are having and while the time factor might be frustrating for you, the pace seems to be about right. I am glad you stepped out of your comfort zone with the comment on the hug, eventually an even bolder move may be in order.

As we hugged goodnight our faces were close. I hugged XH tightly and with my face next to his I said “You always gave great hugs! You’re a very good hugger!”

My only suggestion here is to keep things in the present tense.....

"You give" instead of "You gave"

"You are" instead of "You were"

"I like" instead of "I liked"

see the difference??? You like it NOW and want more of it NOW.

Remember you are building a NEW relationship, use the knowledge of the "old" R to build the "new" R........By bringing up the old R you potentially risk triggering a bad memory for Mr. GAG, and you do not want that.

Make sense?????

I said "BMF will take care of you, won't he?" XH shook his head and muttered something negative. I know that was a cheap shot on my part, but I'm taking every opportunity to draw XH's attention to BMF's self-centeredness.

Okay, here comes the 2X4 of the day.....

You can't make him think something or make him see things your way.....and that is what you are doing. You come across controlling, weak, afraid, etc. If he asks what you think about BMF then tell him how YOU "feel".......personally I would not even do it then.

Do not tell nor try to convince your XH how he should "feel"...

DB 101.....right?????

You "know" this stuff but yet choose to do otherwise!?!?!?!

BMF is the OW now......if BMF was another woman would you keep bringing her up in conversation?????

NOPE.......so stop bringing up BMF in convo.

This is a simple thing.......but it is hard for you......why????

GAG, this is where your "work" lies. just sayin'

Enough of that, go to your corner with your tweezers and start picking the splinter's out.

Well, XH’s sister is arriving from out of state in two days and we are going to lunch on Saturday. Interesting that XH said “What time should I bring X-SIL to your house Saturday?” ………. So I guess XH will be at the house with his sister on Saturday. I plan to have his favorite candles burning and have freshly baked fougasse cooling on the counter. It will be interesting to see if she has any new intel.

This is great!!!! The fact that he is coming to the house is a huge step based on what you have told us previously. Just remember not to get your expectations up.......for your XH, the house is the "scene of the crime", he may get there and not feel comfortable.

If he does not want to stick around then don't force it. Also be aware that your X-SIL may try to play cupid when all 3 of you are together, this could also make him uncomfortable, so if you see this going on you may want to "head it off at the pass" if you sense your XH getting uneasy.

Good luck and let us know what happens!!!

Missher, sauces for grilling.........sounds interesting. Let us know about your top choices, won't you?

Okay, one of my favorite things to do is go out to eat and then come home and recreate what I had or even make it better.

This is what I had last night with my GF and consequently will be working on...

NC Tile Fish with White Shrimp, Anson Mills stone ground grits, trinity, house made Andouille sausage & roasted tomato-tarragon pan sauce

This is a "Low-Country" (Charleston, SC) favorite and yes you read correctly...."grits"...they are served as the "starch" in the meal and are made so smooth and fluffy that they have the texture of mashed potatoes.

We may have to start a cooking thread!!!

Have a great weekend!!!

Cheers