Liked this post so much from "The Walk Down Memory Lane" I figured it was worth saving and repeating here.
Thank you, Angel. Thank you, Virginia.
Originally Posted By: Walking
...I hear this sigh of relief in your post, like “whew, that was a close call, but I’ve got him to sign on for 2 years. (☺)
We can never be whole people when what we say and what we do are 2 different things. ((((Angel)))))
DBing is an incredibly important tool for relearning old inappropriate behaviours and ways of being that are no longer useful for us. You could keep your husband home for 2 years only to have to go through this again then … or you can use this opportunity to learn to trust that you don’t need to hold on so tight. You can’t control the outcome of your husband’s journey. It’s his journey and loving him means you respect him enough to accept it is his right to take that journey – in whatever way he needs to.
Detach Angel. Try to trust that the outcome will be divine and perfect. Let your husband take his journey and be honest with yourself about what compromises you are really making.
What you really found out today is that when you take the pressure off – and demonstrate to him that you are OK – he’s not trapped there, etc … then he’ll loosen up and your time together will be relaxed, loving and you’ll have an opportunity to rebuild intimacy.
Life is not a dress rehersal. You’re not living for whatever happens in 2 months or 2 years time, you must live for today. Detach from the outcome, love yourself, love your husband, love your daughter, be the best you, you can be every minute of every day without investment in where it might lead.
Stop concerning yourself with the payoff. It’s not about the payoff – it’s about the only life you have to live.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
