So I'm not sure my DBing was "conventional" but it worked for me.
I've read through your posts, and everything is so similar. My husband did and said the same things he only saw our kids for 4 hours a week and every other weekend.
Be patient. Listen, validate. You need to convey to him that you are the better choice. I did that by continuing to do the things he needed. I remember one time right he left he was so upset I didn't have his favorite pop in the house when he came to visit the kids. He screamed at me and said see, you don't care about me and what I want. A real wife/girlfriend would have had it here waiting. It seems stupid and petty, but to the MLCer (or QLCer in our case) it is all about them. I indulged this...from that point forward I had snacks and pop he liked. I usually cooked dinner on those night or brought something home too.
I can tell you for the first 6 months, I was a basket case. I was pregnant, hormonal and just crazy. I took him about a year to wake up, and part of that was my craziness and inability to stop putting my foot in my mouth every time we made any progress. We have been working towards him moving back in for about 6 months now, and he has been fully ready to move back for probably 6 weeks.
