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grr Offline
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bolt and denver, no hanky panky!
just sayin"

bolt, how great for you, on both levels
you and denver have had such positive strides
i sincerely wish you could together, raise a glass and celebrate!

just keep it slow and easy and let them come to you
BUT as a woman i will say that we like to courted
just modify it a bit with db

night night


BITS
grr #2132338 02/18/11 07:32 AM
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Don't you sleep grr? LOL...

BITS
Denver


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
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hanky panky


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
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Posts: 667
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sorry, i can't respond. i'm sleeping..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
actually, i just got to the west coast an hour ago (from the east)
jet lag

i do want to say once again, that i am so glad for you
i bet you sleep well tonight


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grr #2132372 02/18/11 02:37 PM
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Wow Bolt between you and Denver can you send the water your W's have been drinking so I can give some to my H?

Nothing I'm doing is working, but I am really psyched for you both. You guys kicked some major butt and for those who always say change is impossible...HA!


BITS

M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0
T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd)
WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved
Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10
Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
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Bolt. That is awesome. I wish I could fly your therapist to TX and work some of that magic. I would love a list of things I could do to make my marriage work. That's is something I could relate to.

I guess, in the meantime, I need to get through some of these hard conversations in therapy, before we can start really working on us and finding out where the holes are and what areas need improvement for us to work. The sexual orientation piece in my relationship definitely adds a dynamic, but I just want to listen and learn what my wife's needs are.

Also, I have been taking your advice concerning detachment to heart. It has been difficult at times, but I think it is for the best.

Thanks, man.


Me - 33 W - 33
S - 9 months
M - 3 years
T - 5.5 years
Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY
PA discovered - 1/18/11
PA began - 3/22/10
Separated
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Bolt Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
Originally Posted By: Bolt
YOU were concerned? smile


Yeah... well concerned for your situation. I've been keeping up with you Bolt!

What do you mean "YOU were concerned"?? smile

Originally Posted By: Bolt
I'm glad I'm going through this - even though some days are brutal. I seriously feel that I'm learning a ton of stuff about myself - both good and bad.


Me too... Well the word 'glad' may be a little strong. But I really do feel that I've learned, and am learning, a lot about myself.

BITS
Denver


typing never shows the expression on your face smile I meant it as you were concerned - you should see how I was concerned smile

just making a little joke which obviously fell flat frown

I'll be here all week! Try the veal and tip your waitstaff.


m 40
w 38
married 15
together 18
d11, d8
bomb 12/19/10
2nd bomb 3/30/11
COMPLETELY DONE
grr #2132394 02/18/11 03:15 PM
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Bolt Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: grr
sorry, i can't respond. i'm sleeping..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
actually, i just got to the west coast an hour ago (from the east)
jet lag

i do want to say once again, that i am so glad for you
i bet you sleep well tonight


welcome to the west coast!
I hope the distance can help you deal a little better as well. Try to stay busy to keep your mind on you!

all the bestest


m 40
w 38
married 15
together 18
d11, d8
bomb 12/19/10
2nd bomb 3/30/11
COMPLETELY DONE
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 503
B
Bolt Offline OP
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Posts: 503
Originally Posted By: zengypsy
Wow Bolt between you and Denver can you send the water your W's have been drinking so I can give some to my H?

Nothing I'm doing is working, but I am really psyched for you both. You guys kicked some major butt and for those who always say change is impossible...HA!


zen-I appreciate it for sure. Make sure to truly look at the small changes - no MATTER how small and hold on to them. If you are doing the work, I'm sure there are some changes; most times it's difficult to see and then remember.


m 40
w 38
married 15
together 18
d11, d8
bomb 12/19/10
2nd bomb 3/30/11
COMPLETELY DONE
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 503
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Bolt Offline OP
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Posts: 503
Originally Posted By: sparks14
Bolt. That is awesome. I wish I could fly your therapist to TX and work some of that magic. I would love a list of things I could do to make my marriage work. That's is something I could relate to.

I guess, in the meantime, I need to get through some of these hard conversations in therapy, before we can start really working on us and finding out where the holes are and what areas need improvement for us to work. The sexual orientation piece in my relationship definitely adds a dynamic, but I just want to listen and learn what my wife's needs are.

Also, I have been taking your advice concerning detachment to heart. It has been difficult at times, but I think it is for the best.

Thanks, man.


I wish I could. She's been awesome. Really gave me a huge week this week with telling me how proud she is of my changes and encouraging me to continue.

Yeah, the list is pretty huge. Can't remember if I said this but I look at the title of the list and saw, "Things for you to do for me to love you."

If that's not motivation, I don't know what is.

Funny thing is...I'm thinking of looking for an office for this month while we're still here. Just to start showing her that I am committed to this.

Keep detaching, Sparks. I know you sitch is tough but stay strong!


m 40
w 38
married 15
together 18
d11, d8
bomb 12/19/10
2nd bomb 3/30/11
COMPLETELY DONE
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