As the Bolt Turns

[Bolt]

After my W's therapy session and my long drive to LA and back, we had a great convo tonight.

One of the things that the therapist had W do is write out a list of things that she needed to have done in order for the marriage to work.

Holy crap! I got a list! I can DO a list! This was the best thing for me because it was spelled out exactly what to do and guess what?

It's all stuff I've either been doing or stuff I want to do. It definitely gives me hope because I can see her coming back to me. We chatted until I finally had to say, OK, I'm done with the talking - it was nearly 2 hours - I didn't want to end it but I think it was good that I did.

Like I said, great stuff.

The toughest to still discuss on the list is that she wants a heartfelt apology for how I've disrespected her as far as her view of infidelity. I've never "cheated" on her in the biblical sense (did anyone see that lightning bolt??) but in her mind, I basically did.

How? By going to strip clubs and getting lap dances. By going on one on dates with women who aren't my wife (this includes my assistant). By objectifying other women or making my W feel like I was comparing her to them.

All of these were issues that honestly, I had no idea it was hurting her or disrespecting her. I do DEFINITELY now. I never want to go back to that. I even told her that I'm trying to not even LOOK at other women because they aren't my wife. I'm doing that out of respect.

But it all comes down to now I see the light and how I've hurt her and I am deeply apologetic. She said that she needs to forgive me and isn't sure how to do it. I said, I'll apologize heartfelt a million times and continue to show my love/respect/adoration through actions to help her.

I'm rambling...surprise surprise...but I did want to say that it was a definite positive step. Now I have an actual gameplan...

OH and I had great meetings in LA. Got my creative mojo back!
win
win