You are my HERO! I'm so proud of how you are DBing! Your becoming a real pro my friend!
Denver I know your W is thinking, I really like H now. He has changed so much. Ya know why? Cause, the woman came to you the other night and poured out the things on her mind about life and grandma with YOU!!!! Denver that is huge....
See us girls we want to go to our man and vent or just release our problems sometimes...ya know talk. We don't want our man to fix it. We just want them to listen and let us go! But, for a woman to do that she has to feel that her man cares, trusts him and that it's safe.
I'm telling you Denver this is HUGE! You did such a great job. You had her laughing and talking with you for 3 hours! WOW!!! She is thinking about all this, trust me.
It's a great sign that she included you as family during this time of grief also. Her whole family welcomed you!
Denver...I'm so happy for you and I keep praying that GOD will guide you and keep you on the path. You have come so far friend!
BITS
Dixie
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010
denver, you have my full attention in fact at this hour, in this place, you and 2step are the only men in the world (see what you get for sleeping bolt!)
i just really feel like you did well and it doesn't need to be over analyzed
just bask in the knowledge that it's "good enough for us" and that you don't need to go to bed black and blue tonight
night-night, my knights see you both 2morrow and i hope you both sleep well
grr is just a fickle lady
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
Denver I know your W is thinking, I really like H now. He has changed so much. Ya know why? Cause, the woman came to you the other night and poured out the things on her mind about life and grandma with YOU!!!! Denver that is huge....
See us girls we want to go to our man and vent or just release our problems sometimes...ya know talk. We don't want our man to fix it. We just want them to listen and let us go! But, for a woman to do that she has to feel that her man cares, trusts him and that it's safe.
I'm telling you Denver this is HUGE! You did such a great job. You had her laughing and talking with you for 3 hours! WOW!!! She is thinking about all this, trust me.
It's a great sign that she included you as family during this time of grief also. Her whole family welcomed you!
Denver...I'm so happy for you and I keep praying that GOD will guide you and keep you on the path. You have come so far friend!
Thanks so much Dixie. Your posts always make me feel really good about what I'm doing. I wish that I had that same touch that you, LIS, Hope, and grr (in her own feisty way) have with all of your posts. You gals are always just so comforting.
I sure hope that you are right about what you are saying.
And yes, I have been REALLY working on just listening to my W. I think that it is really working. I have always tried to be a 'fixer' for her. I'm beginning to realize that this is not what she needed from me.
Thanks again Dixie!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
No hanky panky on my thread grr and Bolt... plus you're making me jealous Bolt! LOL
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
W texted me this morning telling me that she and her family were getting her grandma's memorial services set up and told me what day that it would most likely be. I responded by asking how everyone was holding up and telling her to let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
W called. She detailed everything that is going on with planning the memorial. I just listened.
Then W asked me if I was serious when I mentioned the other night that I would go to Buffalo for a second memorial for her grandma.
Her grandma and much of my W's family are from Buffalo. Her grandma lived there all of her life up until the last year and a half when she simply couldn't be by herself. W's mom was born and raised in Buffalo.
W had wanted me to go with her to Buffalo a couple of different times during our R so that she could show me the town. It was something about her life that she had wanted to share with me. Of course, I never made it happen. I was too busy with work or whatever. Yes, I'm an idiot.
So the other night when we were at our house having drinks, I had told her that I would have gone to the memorial with her if everything was good with us. She said, 'no you wouldn't have... you never wanted to go with me to Buffalo... well, maybe now you would.' I just said that she was right about before and that I was sorry.
So today, out of the blue, she asked me "were you serious that you would go to Buffalo for my grandma's memorial?'
I said 'yes. If you want me to go or would like me to be there, I will make it happen with work.'
We talked about when it might be. I told her to let me know if she decides that she'd like me to go. She said 'ok'.
We left it there, but we'll see. Sounds like I may be going on a trip to Buffalo with my W here in the next couple of weeks!
That would be awesome!!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Denver, Good for you. I hope you are able to shine a light on the new improved Denver that W is dazzled and wants to see more. Keep us updated about when, I’ll pray for success
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
