See, this is where I am confused as well. My telephone councilor even said "be a friend." But it sounds like there is a line there and I do not know exactly where that line is. How do you be a friend but at the same not giving them their cake?
Just like marriage, friendship is not a clear cut "we are either friends or not" type deal. There are healthy friendships and unhealthy friendships. There are friendships where one person does all the giving and the other all the taking, where one puts in all the effort and the other just coasts and takes advantage.
So to this I say, work on those fundamental skills that entail a healthy friendship first, but also contribute to a healthy R. As I have been saying, earning and showing trust, boundaries, honesty and integrity, healthy respectful communication.
It doesnt mean giving them everything they want, or when they say jump, you saying "how high?". Friends are not going to be there to serve every whim, or meet your every need, but conversely a good friend will be there for you if you really need them.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
