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Joined: Dec 2010
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Thank you. I always feel like an idiot giving advice.

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That was a REALLY good point Maine. Yes, you should post much more often. If someone does not agree with you, you'll get a 2x4, but that's ok!! It feels good every now and then! wink

BITS
Denver


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
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Self esteem comes from SELF, Maine. I'd like to kick the guy who helped you damage yours, right in the nu-nus.

You are far from an idiot.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Maine is right, and yes, I already thought of that.

Now onto the DB highlight of the day:

W just told me that she's going for a job interview in CO...she didn't want to tell me about it because she didn't want me to start freaking out when she hadn't made her mind up about us yet. I'm sure she totally was expecting me to lose it and tell her i'm calling an A or going to kill myself right now...but I didn't. I calmly told her that I understand and respect why she's doing it...and that I want her to be happy. I also told her that there's no way I'd ever not take care of her and the kids. The great thing is that deep down inside I knew I really meant it. I feel better right now than I have in weeks. I now know what unconditional love feels like...and it feels great. Some friends/family think I'm crazy...but I am not going to be the one to end this M...period.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
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Navy,

Don't worry about the interview until there's something to worry about. Sounds like you handled it VERY, VERY well.

My H in December told me that he got a call for a job in Canada. I told him that it sounded great! Obviously, I didn't think that, but I was being supportive of whatever he wanted. Well, two days later he mentioned the job again. Again, I thought it sounded great. A couple of days after that, he was recommending others...

Stay off that roller coaster. Don't worry about what your friends/family think. In fact, if I were you, I would keep the marital discussions with those folks to a minimum. I know you need support but oftentimes they are well intentioned but totally ineffective in helping you achieve your goals.

I'm praying for you.

LIS


Me- 40
H - 43
M - 5
T - 14
Separated 2/5/11
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Originally Posted By: Navyguy
Friend of mine just suggest I unfriend W on FB, for my own sanity's sake. What do you all think?


I'm still friends with my STXH on FB for now. We leave each other alone. I say for now because I have a feeling that one day sadly I will unfriend him. And that will be the day he changes his status to "In a Relationship" and if he ever links the OW's name, even more reason. I don't need to be disrespected in that way.

FB should be a window not a billboard. Just my HO


BITS

M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0
T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd)
WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved
Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10
Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
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Originally Posted By: Navyguy
The great thing is that deep down inside I knew I really meant it. I feel better right now than I have in weeks. I now know what unconditional love feels like...and it feels great. Some friends/family think I'm crazy...but I am not going to be the one to end this M...period.


That is AWESOME Navy. It doesn't eliminate all of the hurt, but it is a very good feeling. And, eventually, your W will see that she is being loved unconditionally. It is hard to turn away from that.

BITS
Denver


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
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