Newbie- Very Lost- Not Sure where to start

[tdb68]

LIS,

If you look back through my sitch, i was very absent, and when I was around, nasty, sometimes verbally abusive. However, when she walked out in 2009, I spent months working on myself, and I have not gone back to being that person. This round all started when I lost my temper at a party where she disappeared with a "friend" of mine (male, who had betrayed me before) for 30 minutes or so, and I completely lost my cool with both of them, very wrong, but, nonetheless it happened. 15 minutes of my "outburst" over something that I perceived to be very real (she had an A in March 2009), should unravel everything we pieced back together for the better part of a year.. Am I being unrealistic ?