I guess I just keep struggling with the fact that she doesn't think I am worth trying. All of effort is in trying get away from me - I just wish I knew what about me is so toxic. I mean she has some reasonable complaints, but they aren't "show stoppers"! They are things that can be addressed, heck I've already addressed some of them.
SIC - You're missing the point. This is NOT about you, or any fault that you may have, anymore. This is about your W... her reality... her perception of you and her life.
She does NOT want to be married to you. She doesn't want you to touch her. You think that you have the power to change this? No way.
NOTHING that you can do is going to change this. NOTHING.
Your W is the only person on this planet that has control over how she feels or how she acts. And she may not even have much control over those things right now.
Can it change? Yes! Most definitely. There is no question in my mind that it CAN.
But it is not up to you.
There is a part of me that wants to advise you to take the initiative and move out of your home. Do you have the financial means to go get an apartment? I know that I will get slammed for this, but sometimes, things get so toxic in a R that physical separation can be good. It's like when you give a timeout to 2 children who aren't getting along.
I also think that DBing would be easier for you if you were physically S'd. Right now your W has no idea what life will be like without you. She has no chance to miss you. She has no opportunity to work through all of these negative emotions bc you are always there as a constant reminder of them. Get it?
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
