Hi, rysmom. No, my H and I never did separate, although we were practically living separately in the same house. I guess that is the biggest positive in the beginning, that we did not separate. I guess with you, the advice has been to go dark with your H. But, I wonder if this advice is always one size fits all. I wonder if your H is finding it easier to forget your good qualities if he almost never hears from you. Didn't Laurie advise you to have a small amount of contact with your H? If your counselor advises you one thing, and others here tell you something else, I can see why you would be confused. Perhaps your pride keeps you from talking to your H, since he is with ow. Swallow that pride; your M is more important that that. I knew my H was still seeing ow, but I swallowed the pride that told me to throw him out, and just acted as if the ow didn't exist, and did what I could to mend our M. I guess only time will tell if I have been successful. You know that little book I suggested you get? I hope you have read it, maybe it can give you some hope. I called the preacher we used to have a few days after I found out about ow, and his wife recommended that author for me to read. Good little book.
