Whenever I hear someone has a negative focus I feel an urge to offer them the following perspective:

What do you think of when someone says:

"Don't think of the color blue?"

You think of the color blue.

Our brains can't process a negative subject.

So when you are saying in the title of your thread "Trying not to mess it up", the subject you are focused on is messing up.

Until you start focusing on something more empowering, messing up is the road you will remain upon.

Been there, done that.

The sooner you start feeling better about yourself, the sooner you will start taking better actions and seeing better results in your life.

You are more than your relationship with your wife.

I am being the possibility of:

1) Integrity
2) Loving myself completely.
3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.

"It's do-able." What are the actions now?