today and why do i even want him?

[ironMan]

Yes, grr. You deserve to be with someone that wants to be with you. And, this is a good opportunity for you to work on yourself in preparation for that ... with your H or with somebody else.

We need to work on ourselves because #1) we contributed to the failure of the old M

and 2), we chose these people who became defective spouses

And we don't want to repeat these mistakes.

Maybe sleepy eye = lazy eye?