Not crazy thinking at all. Pefectly normal. When I first started to GAL I felt very guilty. I justn't didn't enjoy myself without my W or knowing I would come home to an empty bed.
We all deal with guilt but no one can help you with that guilt except you.
She deals with her guilt.
No one can help her with her guilt except her.
The more you GAL the easier it becomes.
The emotional ups and lows are normal and I can't say when they will go away, but they will.
For the mean time start focusing your attention on things you can control.
