That rollercoaster is just part of it. BELIEVE ME. See what happens when you detach? It's such a dance. When you pull away, he pushes closer. What he did this morning, probably sub-consciously IS pull away. Not that anything is bad about it. Heck, he could have even just woke up funny.
Realize, he's not in the same boat as you right now. We as LBS are very acute to ANYTHING that are spouses do good or bad. They aren't. They, in some instances, are simply going through the motions.
As far as the IMing - DON'T CARE! Don't check on him. Let him do his thing. It could be completely innocent.
I speak from experience here (I can hear others on the board yelling at me right now for what I'm saying). We as LBS have to let them live their lives as well. I know that was my problem. I never let my S live her own life. I had no idea I was doing it but now that I am, I have to let her do it.
VS2D - look at all the thoughtful things he did for you. Remember those AND remember when he did them. He did it all after you detached. ONE thing I would say...next time you guys are in that good zone, thank him for doing that. I'm not sure what his love language is but he may react two different ways. One is he may not even be aware that he did anything. That is OK. My W does that. I thank her for little things and she can't even remember she did it (I think that's true love, by the way) OR he may thank you for thanking him. Either way - DON'T do it until you guys are in that "good zone" again.
Keep it up!!!
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
