What happens if you give up the emails then you split and your wife ends up with sole custody with you only having visitations?
That is why I had them in the first place. Just for protection of the worst case scenario. Against the wishes of my parents and older sister who is a lawyer, I decided that the wedge in our possible reconciliation was worth more.
We have discussed that we want 50/50 custody if this were to go down that road. All through mediation. No divorce lawyers. Mediation for the divorce as well. I keep the house I bought before marriage. She takes her antique furniture and various other gifts from her parents. As civil as possible.
I have also been told many stories where it started out just like that and quickly turned very ugly. This was my fear and why I kept the emails.
From my wife's side, she has been told that in our conservative county, with our conservative judge, it would be very easy for me to gain sole custody of our son just based on those emails and a same sex affair. Her therapist and our couples therapist both gave recent divorce results to back this. Apparently, my county is infamous for going after same sex affair spouses.
In the end, I am trusting that things will stay civil. The walls of trust need to be built right now, and those emails are only in the way. My therapist even mentioned that we maybe notarize a letter speaking of 50/50 custody in the end and also admittance of the affair just in case. I told my wife that we could agree to that in time, but I only wanted to get rid of them.
My parents think I am an idiot for letting her turn this card on me. I think with my heart, and that this is the best thing to do for us. If I get burned down the road, who knows.
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
