When I let go of what I'm,I become what I might B

[Firstlove]

more on the brain stuff

The amygdalae, especially the basolateral nuclei, are involved in mediating the effects of emotional arousal on the strength of the memory for the event

this is what is happening when "our tiger" attacks us - how do you "mediate" and what is your reaction, and action, based on the strength of the memory for the event. In my case, if the fear takes over, I retreat into old destructive behaviors in order to medicate myself from the pain of that memory. For me, that medication comes in the form of inviting myself to a "pity party" and start to go over how selfish my spouse is and how WONDERFUL I am and that I don't deserve to live like "this" and then, depending upon the severity of the "tiger attack" I retreat to actions that I regret - or - I take actions that I am newly proud of - THIS for me, is the process of change. If we can recognize what is happening during the "tiger attack" and actually change how we process the "Fight or Flight" reactions in our brains, we can truly be on the path of changing our behaviors and how we are reacting to whatever our spouses are either doing - or not doing to either improve or destroy our marriages.

I know - I know - weird science - but I am finding this journey fascinating.