Exactly Next. Who cares if she takes responsibility for her role in the breakdown in the M if she is going to D you anyway! You gotta get past the WAS part first, get S back in the M... then is the time for BOTH people to take responsibility for their role in making the M healthy going forward.

It simply doesn't matter while they are in WAS mode... We aren't going to get a WAS back by asking them to take take some blame... they're gone anyhow.

BITS
Denver

M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce