Well Wii I know he meant it in a teasing way but you are right it was not very mature of him...
So I had a cathartic night at church. I don't know how it happened, my pastor must have just been able to read me better than I realize.
I work in the kitchen at youth group most Wednesdays but hadn't been in a couple weeks. After the last group (we get a few different age groups through over a few hours) he walked outside with me to put a church bumper sticker on my car. Once we were away from the other people he asked me about Nathan. He said he seemed a little angrier lately...that led to a convo about Nathan and Dan and some of his jerkier interactions with our kids.
Then somehow that circled around to me. We had walked back into church and were in the kitchen. I said something about some goals I have for keeping the house clean and organized and he says, "It wasn't your fault." And my voice wavered. I didn't think he would male that connection. I just said, "No, but still it is good to have things organized..." And he cut me off and said, "It's not your fault." Again. And I started crying and tried to respond back again and he just stepped over and put his arm on my shoulder and said, "Even if you had the cleanest house possible, it's not your fault..." And I started crying! I didn't realize I am still blaming myself on some level for his affairs and leaving me, but I guess I am bc as he said that to me it just brought me to tears...
So then I regained composure and thanked him for listening to me. For 28 we have a pretty wise pastor. I am so happy for him and his fiancee that they found each other bc they are awesome people.