Recovering after a same sex affair

[sparks14]

After she took a nap, she seemed in a little better spirits. For me, I felt it was important to get rid of them as soon as possible. It was almost as if I had this skunk running around the house, and I just wanted it out.

As my wife was leaving, I showed her where I had hid the emails in the garage (ironically the same place I hid her wedding ring before purposing). I told her that I wanted her to have these and do with them whatever she fits. She can trash them, shred them, burn them. It was up to her. I just did not want them in my possesion. I told her that I know this will not bring back the trust, but it is the first step I can take to help. She told me that she still doesn't believe there are other copies. I again assured her that there weren't, and she left.

I sent her a text using our therapist words stating that these emails were only creating a wedge in our relationship, and I only wanted to eliminate them completely. I don't want there to be any secrets or dishonesty betweenus at all. In time, you can choose to believe me that you have the only copy in your hands right now, but that will be when you are ready to believe that. I can only provide reassurances. I told her that I was sorry to get heavy outside of the safety of our couples therapy, but I felt it best to get rid of the emails as soon as possible and return them to her.

I did not get a response. I did send a logistical text about our son that I have for the night. I only got one word answers to my questions. I told her that I hope she could catch up on sleep tonight and have a good night. No answer.

I feel I did the best thing. I have to get the deamons of mistrust out of the way. Regardless of what my family says, I couldn't let those emails prevent my ultimste goal in preserving our marriage. Her therapist and our couples therapist said that I could easily get sole custody of my son with the information in those emails considering the judge in my county. In the end, I don't want that. If the worst were to occur,I want my wife and I to split 50/50 because we are both his parents.