I had to take my son to the emergency room this morning. when he woke up the right side of his face, tongue, and teeth were numb. I was very worried and depressed. Thank God the Dr said it was not a stroke or anything serious, he said it could be caused by an upper respratory infection. Son was better about an hour later. He called h and told him about the situation. (No neg. comments from you know who)
Hey, rysmom, I'm glad your son is okay. I hope you are giving him the "treatment". That's what my son calls it when he is sick and I pamper him and give him small treats, and generally make him "prince for a day". You said that you could not compete with the ow's personality. Well, when my H was messing with ow, I happened to find a way to get into his voice mail without using his phone, and I listened to the ultra sickening voice mails that ow left H. But, I also saw that ow was constantly purring on about how H was so good, and so wonderful to work so hard. So, I thought to myself, I said self, that beyotch has the nerve to tell my H he is wonderful for working so hard, and it is for ME and our S that he IS working so hard, so darn it, I am going to be the one to tell him, and I am going to be the one purring about it. So, I started telling my H I appreciated him, and sending him cards and little notes each day, sometimes lovey-dovey, sometimes silly. But it has seemed to work, unless he is a better actor than I thought, because ow seems to have (hopefully) faded off into wherever ow go to when they fade. So, if you do decide to take the plunge, and give your H a compliment, remember, H's love to have their ego stroked. They want to feel needed, wanted and loved. Some need it at a higher level. Anyway, it's early here, 5:36 am, I couldn't go back to sleep, so thought I would check in here to see how you were. I'm going to get coffee, bye.
Thanks for your message. Hope you are doing well. did u and h ever separate. That is whats not good at all about my situation. h is living with ow and gets to give him all the complements and tlc.
Hi, rysmom. No, my H and I never did separate, although we were practically living separately in the same house. I guess that is the biggest positive in the beginning, that we did not separate. I guess with you, the advice has been to go dark with your H. But, I wonder if this advice is always one size fits all. I wonder if your H is finding it easier to forget your good qualities if he almost never hears from you. Didn't Laurie advise you to have a small amount of contact with your H? If your counselor advises you one thing, and others here tell you something else, I can see why you would be confused. Perhaps your pride keeps you from talking to your H, since he is with ow. Swallow that pride; your M is more important that that. I knew my H was still seeing ow, but I swallowed the pride that told me to throw him out, and just acted as if the ow didn't exist, and did what I could to mend our M. I guess only time will tell if I have been successful. You know that little book I suggested you get? I hope you have read it, maybe it can give you some hope. I called the preacher we used to have a few days after I found out about ow, and his wife recommended that author for me to read. Good little book.
