Man i seem to be stuck in the same boat as you. My wife too brings a lot of past history to justify some of the things she has done and in the end i have actually ended up justifying these things for her. When i look back, i now see how clearly these boundaries were crossed. In my case though i have always operated and let her cross my boundaries out of the fear that she would leave me. This thinking attitude really brought me trouble and i am now trying to correct this kind of thinking
Most important is that it is never too late to change. By being consistent in our actions we can effect great change.
Note also that losing your cool is an action, as is not losing your cool.
Don't beat yourself up over it either. I struggle to live my own advice every single day. I backslide often enough. I am still not where I want to be in my own R, but much further ahead of when she had one foot out the door. It is a journey, not a destination.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
