Mike, your words are the same ones I have, but they're stuck at the tip of my tongue. When it matters, like the situation above, it is usually the words that fail me. You are also right on about me justifying my wife's actions. It comes from guilt that I allow to creep in.
In the situation above, I tried to stand my ground as long as I could, without me loosing my cool. In a sense, I am glad that she was mad due to my persistence, and not by my anger (usually how I respond to boundary-crossing). I didn't raise my voice (I don't think) and occasionally stopped between sentences to recollect myself by saying "Okay...(insert my wife's name here)". I don't know how much of standing my ground I would've needed to get further information about who or where the doctor is. Considering how things were rapidly deteriorating, I decided to stop. My son was there too and keeping it up like that was no bueno.
My mind is mostly at ease now. Keep on truckin', aye? Today's visit to the doctor is another thing I've added to my prayer list. No turning back, only forward.
Man i seem to be stuck in the same boat as you. My wife too brings a lot of past history to justify some of the things she has done and in the end i have actually ended up justifying these things for her. When i look back, i now see how clearly these boundaries were crossed. In my case though i have always operated and let her cross my boundaries out of the fear that she would leave me. This thinking attitude really brought me trouble and i am now trying to correct this kind of thinking
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
