((( Sue )))

I'm so sorry to hear your H was restructured out of a job. I can relate some what as my position will be eliminated in about a month. But at least, I do have another position I can move into. It will mean a major change in lifestyle and I guess that's my point here. It may be the silver-lining in the cloud as these kind of changes tend to make one re-assess our choices. Give it some more ( ) time ... there's a potential for this impact to be the catalyst that could lead to him altering his present state-of-mind.

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I told him I had pulled back from asking him over for pizza or to a movie because I did not want to appear weak, clingy..or get my hopes up. He said he has no problem doing those things with me if I did not get my hopes up.

Sue, keep doing these things only for one reason and one reason only ... because it is how you enjoy spending that time. Let go of any hope or expectation that there will be a next time and just be grateful to share theat period of time together so he can let his guard down and begin to enjoy time with you without any burden of "Is this supposes to lead to something?" in the back of his mind. If he can start to accept its OK just to have a good time with Sue, it becomes fertile soil in which those "feeling" can sprout from ... which just dawned on me!! It does seem odd that he should refer to those feeling as...
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but not like a husband should be able to

... it almost sounds as an obligatory expectation demanded from him. Why not " ... a lover does" or a "romantic" love? Something more freely offered than being percieved as a burden. Not sure where I'm going with this just now .... arrgh ... this headcold is clouding my thoughts. Will ponder on this some more, but it does seem to appear more about his interpretation of his feelings than what he does actually feel. Keeping that in mind might help with how you look to do things differently.

'til later,
KAW