Funny, after all this drama in my life, I was thinking about starting to smoke weed!
I think if we all honestly looked at ourselves and our feelings there aren't many of us who have those romantic feelings right now. I think that you are in good company.
And I think you shouldn't pay him much mind either about should he or shouldn't he change. I mean I talked to my H endlessly about his crappy behavior and he, too, felt he was nothing but perfect and our relationship did not warrant change. But, when I detached, he changed. He changed in a hurry. You don't know what may prompt that in your H.
I think your reasons for wanting your marriage are good. But, honestly grr, it doesn't make a darn bit of difference what I think or anyone else. The ONLY thing that matters is what you want. That's it!
But something really caught my eye in your post about "taking him as is." I guess you need to decide what is and isn't a dealbreaker FOR YOU. Then, otherwise, it is kind of like taking them as they are. I didn't marry my H to change him. I knew what I was getting into and I loved him and he loved me and as much as it pains me to admit it, I'm FAR from perfect. It's easy for all the rest of us to judge and tell you, I wouldn't put up with this and I wouldn't put up with that and blah, blah, blah. But not one of us is living with your pain or the consequences of your decisions.
