Here we go AGAIN....

[alamo76]

I think a 2X4 would be in order if I thought it would work. It won't. H is so selfish and caught up in what he is doing that a 2X4 wouldn't even phase him. The fog he is in isn't clearing. I feel I just need to walk away. I need to stop letting him get to me. I let my guard down and that is completely my fault. I will not do it again.

Thanks for the thoughts and advice. Everyday is going to be a huge struggle...but one day this will be easier.

That one day you're talking about could even be tomorrow! Hang in there, Wanda!

[MrBond]

Yep that was what I was figured. He does just enough to draw you in and then drops you. That's why IMO you should have just left the info about MC or Retrouvaille with him and if he didn't do anything about it, then you know your answer.

Yes definitely stop contact with him. He'll start going into his same pattern of drawing you in, but hold firm. You be the one to break the cycle. He needs to show that he "gets it". Talk to him only for things strictly business.

[wanda15]

Thanks for the advice guys. It does help. I do know what I have to do, I just have to make myself do it now. My head is spinning today, so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Have to get back to where I was 2 weeks ago. It will take a day or two.

Just have to stop believing his words. There are of no use to me. I have to listen to my head and not my heart. My heart has way too many emotions that completely cloud my judgment on truth and false hope. Sometimes I wish I could just be somewhere else for awhile.

Thanks again for the words of encouragement.

[wanda15]

Jeepers I am having a really crappy day today. Everything just seems to be so blah. Having a hard time getting out of this rotten funk I am in. This part is very frustrating. I did better the first two weeks H was gone than I am doing right now. How the heck do I get back there????

Hope there are some of you out there having a great day. This crap [censored]!

[wanda15]

Well my crappy day has gone from crappy to just plain weird. A whole new can of worms has opened up concerning my H. Oh what a tangled web he has been weaving. There is absolutely no truth that can come out of his mouth. So firstly, where I got my information from was very unexpected. I wasn’t snooping or anything like that. It was from an old friend who contacted me to see how I was doing. Since H and I were split up for the last 3 months...what???? 3 months???? Since H has been gone and started dated, she was wondering how things were going for me? I think MY head has been in a fog. At first I was a little dumbfounded. Then I started thinking...holy do things make sense now. All the behaviour, all the gut feelings, all the vagueness to his whereabouts, the guilty look on his face. I have been sooooo stupid. I should have gone with my first instinct that Sunday afternoon and stayed home. I just wanted so bad to hear that he still wanted me.

So here I sit. Nasty feeling in my stomach is gone. Feeling not so crappy anymore. Actually had a laugh or two at myself about the whole thing. I am not even stressing about his attempted return (which should happen in the next week or so) I know that for right now and for the next few months I will have to go completely dark. With the exception of kids. But I managed to go 2 weeks without seeing him face to face, I can go longer.

[alamo76]

Sorry for saying this - 'cuz I'm no role-model husband either - but what a piece of work your husband is currently! I'm glad you're feeling better (jaded?), but it shouldn't have happened.

So what are your next steps, besides going dark? Does this revelation change anything or are you rethinking your strategy?

[wanda15]

Alamo I think I am rethinking everything right now.

I am not going to be able to trust anything he says or does so I am going to have to build this great big brick wall. The one thing that I am not sure about doing is, H does not know I KNOW. So do I confront him with any of the information I have? Or should I leave it all alone and not say a word. He will not even be able to figure out how I know and will probably lie as much as he can to try and get out of it.

Just trying to figure out if I should let him know if that is just going to set him up for more lies????

[wanda15]

So H texted this morning at 7:20 am. he wanted to come and get some invoices and his clothes. I told him not today. He could come by tomorrow. I also told him that I needed a list of the things he wanted from the house, his expectations of kid visits and what he planned on paying. His response was, you want a seperation agreement? I told him, if that what you want to call it, i just don't want you around here everyday again.

I haven't heard from him since. Guess we will see what happens tomorrow.Our kids are going to their grandparents for a few days so that should give me the time I need to get his stuff together without them seeing me do it. Hopefully that will make it a little easier on them.

As for the rest of my day today, I am just going to be as happy as I can.

[wanda15]

So H was texting again about getting his stuff this morning. I asked him if he had the list ready? he won't give me a list because he doesn't know what is his in the house. And he can't give me answers about the kids because he is homeless and I have all the control.

What a bunch of crap. Why does he think telling me he is homeless is going to change anything? He also said that by me not giving him his clothes I am preventing him from going to work. He sure knows how to spin things so everyone can have a pity party for him. Poor baby. Do the WAS ever take responsibility for their actions??? Ever?? Because I can be a duck most of the time, but at some point it would be nice to see H actually say he has done something wrong. Probably expecting to much.

Today is a new day and it is time to move forward. I will laugh today, I will smile today and I will be strong.

[alamo76]

Don't fret, Wanda. I am keeping you in my prayers today, and tomorrow, and the next... We all need it.