My friends and I have all been where you are right now. I know how it feels. It sends you reeling.
Right now it is best to just deal with what you know. You know your h went to a parenting class. That is a good thing in a lot of ways.
You know your h is probably going through a MLC.
Anything else, do not worry about at this moment.
If you try to deal with what you are feeling about love and marriage and divorce and all that while in this state, you will make yourself miserable.
So, just sit with the information you have. Nothing has changes right now.
And yes, your h might be inching closer to a divorce and he might not. Mine did the same thing and still hadnt filed three years later.
If he is, you need to be proactive. Get some info about protecting yourself.
So that for now, the business part of it is being handled a bit.
As for the love part, the emotional part, well, you are going to be feeling all kinds of things.
Here's how I feel. Love is a choice. I made that choice 29 years ago. My h has done some horrendous things. I hate what he's done and how he's done it.
MLC does not give him a free pass. But, I can separate the actions from the feelings. I love him. That is how I feel.He might now love me now, he may never again. His feelings. Nothing I can do about them.
And mine are mine. I have loved him since I am 18 years old. I dont say, I love him but. I dont say I love him because. I dont say I love him only when I get what I want from him. I just do.
But, it does not get in the way of my life. I am living. I am striving to be a better person. I am enjoying my son, my family, my friends. I am trying to figure out how I am going to survive financially. Alll of that has nothing to do with whether or not I love my h.
I look at it this way. Suppose my son stole from me, lied to me, backstabbed me. Would I not love him? No.
So, take care of you and your children. Do what you need to do to protect yourself. Knowledge is power. And let your h blow in the breeze right now.
You are on a wonderful journey of self discovery and healing. You have the opportunity to live your life however you want to. You can be happy within yourself and within your life.
