HI...thanks for checking in on me...I am feeling like I am in a slump of some sort...holiday blues..unsure of where my life is going blues..work stress...who knows. I do not seem to feel like doing anything as far as my m is involved.
I know I have said this a million times over the past year or so, but I will say it again..nd maybe someone can whack me with a 2x4..but if my h has made it fairly clear about a d..even if down the road a bit, he did not ask me to the church staff party, and his work post Christmas pasrty is in a few weeks, and I am not included..then WHY would I make any efforts to court him, ask him on a date??? I know all about dbing...But I am tired...I really don't want to lose the m, but I am falling into the "I don't see any other way" mode...and I know that is not good. I am afraid if I call and ask him out he will think that I just don't get it..I know this man for 25 years I have known him.. I di not even have any reason to call him all week..have not seen or talked to him since he came over last Sat. and played games with other people here. Wait..on Wed at our church dinner he did come over and sit at my table for a few minutes and chatted with the group there..guess that he did not have to..oh and while in the kitchen there cleaning he appeared before choir practice and we chatted..OMG..am I missing things here????Whack......he would not have to would he........why can't I see these litle things..because as i said before..I am tired..physically and emotionally...work is so stressful, and I am not sleeping that great.
I need to refoccus on what is important..ME..before it gets out of hand. I am so glad that I came here to vent..and to reawaken that there are little signs of hope all over the place.
I am going to make an effort tomorrow at church to talk to h..maybe he needs to know that I am not always doing as great as everyone thinks or tells him I am..that I am hurting right now..that I need a friend right now.
