Guys, I believe in piecing, when you guys are rebuilding or whatever you want to call it, your concerns about the marriage are just as valid as hers. You're not taking her back no matter the cost. "No sex?! OK! As long as your home!" F that. I'm not saying rush in, but it has to be on the table. Her concerns and your concerns are of equal import.
Interesting. My W and I had this very talk last night. At one point, in early Dec, she had said to me that if she had to she could stay in a marriage where we were just friends and only friends for the kids' sake. But last night she says, "I know you could never do that. It is not the type of marriage you want. You need the affection and emotional connection." Ya know, I never told her that I couldn't be married like that. But she knew. She knew from my actions or discussions, fights etc. My point is that your W's are probably listening. If she is truly vesting in working on the M, your concerns are valid and she isn't presenting a my way or the highway scenario. Now are you doing the same?
Thankfully, she has come to a place where she wants that connection we once had. So she is willing to work to get us to that place.
And don't think for a minute that just because your wife doesn't say ILY or kiss or hug you, she is fine with things. If she wants to work on the M, I'd be she misses those things an awful lot but is scared about investing in that again.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
