The problem is, I don't even know which child pychiatrist she's taking our son to, and she ain't gonna give up that info.
This is sounding like serious stuff to me. I think you better get some legal advice....and fast. She's withholding information about your own child and refuses to tell you anything.
I wouldn't take what she said about running away very lightly. Sounds like she could be suffering from a mental problem.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!