First as to PM, Schnarch has an audio book on the PM, that you can listen to commuting to and from work that makes it easier to get through it once, so that then digging into the book becomes easier. If you are struggling accept that the audio book might help. I listened to the audio book several times before I had the motivation to dig into the real book deeply. It is a really tough read.
Second, as to 5 Languages, the following websites might help the first is a 2 part interview with the Chapman on a popular radio show.
From personal experience, and it was very hard and difficult to do, I had to change the dynamic in my relationship with my wife, prior to her wanting to invest any time in her changing the way she treated me.
Let me say that again. I had to provide my wife with multiple acts each day of unconditional love in her languages of love, making her feel loved for months, prior to her being willing to change any of her behaviors.
I really think that MWD and her approach is very valuable. One of the things that she says repeatedly is that one partner can be the catalyst for changing and saving a marriage. MWD tells wives in SSM's to "just do it." She understands what it took me a long time to really understand and that is that one person can change themself and that change can create changed marital behavior, which can if focused save a marriage. It doesn't always happen, but it can and does happen frequently enough that people need to understand this important fact rather than just giving up on a marriage. I also want to say from what I have read that it is not universally successful.
Good luck to you. Give yourself a special gift. Try to forgive your husband when he returns long enough to show him love and make him feel loved. I would bet that he also has hopes of a romantic return to your arms as well.
I hope your reunion is everything that you want it to be.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
