WAW on the Peninsula

[LITB]

Update:

I noticed the W forgot her phone on the kitchen counter last night while bathing the kids. Within a few minutes she came flying up the stairs to grab it. I asked her what she was hiding(I know, this isn’t going to get me closer to my goal). Of course she got defensive and said that she text messages her friends and gets messages from FB that she likes to reply to. When I’ve had questions about something in the past, she told me to ask her……..so I told her that instead of me wondering what was going on, I’d rather just ask her and get it over with. I told her thank you for me honest with me, I appreciate it. Mind you, I don’t believe her.

Here are the reasons that I can’t completely trust or believe her right now. She went to Vegas (we lived in Vegas for over 13 years) to tell her family that we are getting a D and while she was down there she ran my name thru the ringer. She told her family what a horrible husband and father I have been. Thankfully they know how well she’s been treated and they weren’t buying her stories. I say stories, because she changed them when she was confronted about making her decision depending on who she was talking to. Don’t get me wrong, I am far from being a perfect H. Anyway, she didn’t know that one of her relatives called me to find out WTH was going on. All of them suspected that she is/was having an A, because that is the only thing that would explain the reasons for a D.

While she was down there, she didn’t realize that her family was in contact with me. Well she spent a couple of nights on the strip and didn’t tell me about it. I was asked if I knew she was staying in a hotel and I did not. When I asked her where she was staying when we talked, she said that she was staying with her sister. I then asked her if she wasn’t staying at ?? hotel. She said no and what would make me think that. I told her I just thought that she might be staying there, since she worked there in the past. After we hung up, I called the hotel and asked for her room. She didn’t answer, but she knew that I had just caught her in a lie. I called her cell back and left her a message to call me back. I wanted to know what was going on with her. She called and I asked point blank if she was having an A. She wanted to argue, but I cut her off and told her it is a yes/no question. She said no and told me she didn’t tell me, because I would have automatically thought she was having an A. All the signs point to her having an A, but my intuition tells me otherwise. I may very well just be acting the fool. I believe if she was having an A, she would be more ambitious on moving out of our house. I don’t know what to think. Her behavior is so confusing.

After everything settled down last night, she came to my room and I asked if we could talk. At first she was reluctant, but I knew that I needed to calm her down. W asked me why I ask her about her phone now when I never did before she said she wanted a D. She feels that I’m doing things backwards. I told her that times are different now, I had no reason to ask about her phone before because I trusted her. I apologized for asking, but I told her that I didn’t want to wonder and it was better if I asked her about it.

That’s how the C began. Then it spilt over to all of my shortcomings that helped us get to this point. I listened and validated. Not easy when you know most of the talk is nonsense, but I did it anyway.

W claims that I was an absent husband and absent father. That when we decided to have kids that we would split responsibilities 50/50 and I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain. I made her feel like I didn’t care when she would stay out late with her friends and I wouldn’t question her or ask about her night. I list goes on and on. Some of her claims are true and some of them are far-fetched. I just listened and validated last night.

Today we have a consultation with the document preparation company. Wish me luck.