As the Bolt Turns

[Bolt]

heyall,
Thanks a ton for the prayers and concerns.

Had a rough night. I'm getting over a cold and couldn't sleep very well. I did end up sleeping in the bed with W. She was pretty normal this morning; gave me a kiss goodbye too.

My mind is just in a whirlwind. I have to remain focused but can't stop thinking about some of the things she said. I'm going stay detached for the next few days. She's working today, so that's pretty easy. Tomorrow, I'm going to be out of the house all day - meetings in LA so that's easy too.

Friday and saturday she works so I can make it Sunday pretty easily. I'm not going to text or call her during any of that time.

I'm having a hard time imagining myself without her right now. I thought things were going so well. I do know that every time I've given her space, she's come back a little closer.

I just really don't know what to expect and what to do. The move suddenly is weighing HUGE on me. I'm 100% afraid that it is a bad decision.

My faith tells me that it is a good decision and the right one to do so I am going to do it. I keep hearing that this will all pay off in spades.

It's just a little hard to fathom that right now. After getting the "best friend" speech and all...I can't get that out of my head.

Something I did forget. I talk pretty openly with her about everything and she would ask about this board. I would tell her things like, people are in the same boat - or - we're going down the right path...

Well, apparently THAT is something that is putting pressure on her. She wants us to go at our pace and feels that I'm overanalyzing everything (DUH! - My therapist's words). So I told the W that I won't discuss this board at all. I also told her that out of respect for her, if she wanted me to stop, I would. She said that I needed this to vent and relate.

So, I guess you guys are stuck with me...

BITS for sure...