I did speak with him about some things, but mostly I listened to him. He has apologized (more than once) for the things he's done in our marriage and I do believe that he is sorry. He already knows what I feel was wrong in our M, we've been over it multiple times. I'm tired of talking and ready for action, although I am telling myself to be patient. I also think he's come to a level of clarity about the fact that his attitude and actions in the marriage were wrong.
A few of his main concerns seem to be:
1.) Why did he treat me so poorly? 2.) If we get back together at some point, will things just go back to the way that they were, with him treating me that way again? 3.) It's hard for him to face the judgment of my family and friends after everything that has transpired. 4.) He feels like I over-analyze his actions and look down on him for the things that he has done. ---------------------------
All that being said, the things he read in my journal just throw everything into a sort of tizzy. I mean, the stuff in there is every bad thought I have. I literally poor them out into my journal. So, if he's walking around thinking any of that is true, I don't know how it will affect our relationship.
I also wrote a lot about DB strategies and plans in it, so all my LRT'ing and DB'ing plans are laid bare for him to see, which is not good, either. I definitely feel as if I lost ground here. I can't do anything but wait and see what happens.
So, that's where we are.
Me: 33, H: 32 M: 12 years T: 13 years No kids D-Day: 7/2009 Separated: 10/12/10 Future Unknown GITS
"There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark." - Adele
