Loving someone gets you nothing in return. It entitles you to nothing.
Being loved though...we all chase it, we all crave it, we all want to be loved. Paradox.
And how would you like to be loved?
Only when you are calm, quiet and peaceful and the love of someone is just some warm syrup to make you feel even more so?
When does love hold the most power? When does its mystery show itself?
It is time for me to share this with you:
Originally Posted By: Steady
The love we show isn't love at all. It's an exchange of giving and getting.
When
the person is with us we love them. As soon as they try to leave we despise them and curse them.
In all actuality we are doing what the WAS is doing - except in the completely opposite direction. They want to be happy. They do what they do looking for it.
When they leave, we are unhappy. We want them to come back so we can be happy.
And ....
When you do achieve detachment and you do understand that love is not what we get from another it is what you give without needing its return.
Then Let's just take the case that brought us all here.
Your H doesn't want the M.
At first you want to "get" them back. You want something and they want something different.
Maybe they are scared, confused or whatever and they think that the only way they can be loved like they want to be is to leave and have an A. Or find someone new.
Then We grow and we understand. And that is the journey of the LBS.
If we run away because they reject us are we any different? You confirm to him that you did not really love him by this rejection because it is after all conditional.
You confirm for him the doubts he has about himself and you. There is opportunity to express and communicate to your H that you love him more than just an exchange.
You have an opportunity to prove to yourself that you can love without those conditions.
That you are only expressing what you believe...
For a time long enough to where you can move on without anger or resentment.
That you are not a victim of someone who wouldn't give you what you wanted BUT Someone who has courage enough to express the best kind for love for her H.
To heal.
And during that time maybe, just maybe...
This expression of love has a chance to flourish and your H maybe understands this and your M is saved.
A possibility?
That you will love and honor them.
Honor means that if they want to divorce you then that is their choice.
How are you harmed if you are no longer attached to outcomes.
You are not holding on.
That takes effort.
That means you are trying to control.
You are GIVING away... How would you want to be loved? Only when you are peaceful and not scared?
Or
When you have lost your way and are so scared you run away?
This is not a point of black and white this is a process just as our growth is a lifelong process.
That requires constant experience, pain and correction.
The only lie is the one you tell yourself...
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
