Yeah man, those dreams sure do suck. I had another last night as well. Not as bad as last week, but still enough to wake me up and get me spun up.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
2step - i know, i know i wake up at 3:11 on the dot and then that's it i have to take my son to school, but i'll be back hope you can sleep for a few hours this morning
Big, big hugs, 2Step. I hope that this is just an isolated incident.
As far as where your life is right now... you have a lot to be happy and proud about. Is it perfect, no. Probably in your mind not even close. But, 90% would have given up by now and would have been well on their way to divorce court. You? Well, you stand and fight like a man. I really believe she's turning a corner. Build the foundation 2Step. Build the friendship like you have been doing. It'll make reconciliation a bit easier. Because I'm telling you, it's no picnic. Get yourself ready for that. That starts with building your confidence a bit in this situation.
Did you order the book? I'm almost done. Holy cow!!! Very, very insightful. I'm so excited. I really thought that I had a screw loose.
I did not get a chance to go last night, D had too much homework. I am going today before I go to the office. I am OK today just doing a lot of thinking about where I am at. I am actually looking forward to my DB session on Sat because I have lots of questions for Jody. I was hoping that W would be a second call but I think I will take this one and if she ever wants to be on one I will order some more. I am up 6th right now.
One thing to put in my mental notes is that time is my friend and not my enemy. At this point all I can do is continue to learn and focus on myself, get my support from you guys and offer whatever advice I am able to.
I know the wake-up calls in the middle of the night as well here. It is getting better as time goes on and my outlook is more positive -but there have been many many nights when I would wake up at 2:00 AM - look at the clock and just go "oh great - another sleepless night - when will this ever end". I have had what seems like billions of sleepless nights in my marriage, cannot tell you the number of times I woke up from my W snoring and coughing - I had to get up and either sleep in the guest room or on the sofa - I bet its a 3,000 times and I am not kidding.
This is different though, you wake up lost and scared in the middle of the night in an empty bed, not knowing where to turn or what the next day will bring. My only hope is in God and His plan for my life, and trusting that He has a plan for me to prosper and a future with hope. Many nights I just grab my bible at the side of the bed and read the Psalms and God's promise to us. That is the only way my soul can rest and my body can sleep - is resting in Him and not in my sitch.
M-58 W-56 Married 33 years BOMB -Sept/10 Separated 8 months
BITS (of Fruit) Firstlove
"Go Confidently in the direction of YOUR dreams - Live the life you've imagined" - Thoreau
I wake up at 4AM almost every day sinc emy H left. Weird thing about the time is that's the time I got the phone call from the hosp. that my mom had passed away.
2, I'm glad you have another session with Jody and I think it's a great idea that you tackle this one on your own considering all the developments.
DITTO -----> One thing to put in my mental notes is that time is my friend and not my enemy. At this point all I can do is continue to learn and focus on myself, get my support from you guys and offer whatever advice I am able to.
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
2Step, yeah, time is your friend. It took me a long while to understand that. Being as Type A as I am, I want things fixed NOW. Well, all I did with that thinking was make things much, much worse. My H is about as laid back as one could get and the way I was dealing with things was disastrous. It's funny, though, the changes that are happening in me. I'm becoming a lot more laid back. And you know what??? I like it. A LOT. Once we become more comfortable in the unknown, amazing things start happening.
Get the book! I would love to talk about it with someone. I already have questions. I'm actually looking forward to my H coming home (he's been on a business trip this week) instead of panicking about it. I feel a lot more comfortable understanding my feelings and why I am such a dope some days.
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
