No worries, Wanda. I always welcome your insight! You know, oddly, I'm not really bothered by not being able to go tomorrow. I'm somehow at peace, quite a bit by what transpired this entire evening.
Those words my wife used like "I can't seem to let her make her own decisions" or "I still see that you're trying to be controlling", etc. stem both from all the distrust that's been building (refer to my posts about me stealing her mail, she finding that I still had risqué pictures of her though she thought I had hacked into her computer for, or good olde imagined paranoia), plus my own backsliding such as when I snap at her or am rude or don't acknowledge her feelings, which I've been doing a lot this past week.
I would've felt more worried if those words she used ended right there and then, but remember I mentioned the argument about dinner? It's a long story, so I won't go into it, but those and similar words made a appearance once again. Basically, I didn't communicate to her that I wasn't going to be cooking tonight. Now I know she acting separated and all, but I had told her that there will always be extra food if she wants some. I made it clear that I wasn't cooking for her, but I always have extra, so if she eats or not after coming back from the hospital, it's no biggie. Even on nights when I do takeout, I do ask her if she's interested. Today, my son and I decided to eat out, and I didn't let my wife know that i won't be cooking. I should have told her out of courtesy, if not concern. That was the mistake and she was upset about it, but the fact that I didn't realize I did something wrong and man up, made her madder still, which escalated to another argument where she brought up a little about the relationship and used more of the same words during that exchange.
Yes, some of you are probably going, like, whaaa? I hope me letting her take our son doesn't bite me in the butt; part of me strongly believes that she has the interest of our son in mind, that she is worried about what this whole process is doing to him developmentally. She is being selfish as most WAS behave, so she wants her decision to be solely hers and hers to gloat about, I suppose. As much as I hope he doesn't need to go for a second visit, if he does, my wife said I will be going too. So we'll see how that goes. Whatever the outcome, I just hope my son is given the green bill of mental health. That's the most important thing here.
