Upset

[Queen_of_Swords]

I feel it has been a waste. Love's labour lost.
Meaningless. In the end the love I gave, the effort I expended, the investment of time didn't and doesn't matter.

I will do what I must to protect and nurture my kids until adulthood and beyond if they need me.

All my memories are tainted now.
Tainted with the knowledge I didn't do enough, well enough. I failed at marriage. I failed at being a wife. I can forgive him. I don't think I can forgive myself for not being astute enough, or sensitive enough, enough of a good listener or his soft place to land.

Forgive me if this bores you. I just need to get it out right now or have these thoughts keep me awake and sleepless tonight.